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No matter how much you love teaching, nothing will burst your bubble of enthusiasm more than a stack of ungraded papers sitting on your desk at the end of the day. In the virtual education landscape, often that means an overflowing inbox of assignments to check as well. One of the top five changes I made in order to keep teaching was how I graded. Grading papers and projects, assessing students in general takes a lot of time and energy. It is the “side hustle” if you will of being a teacher - you teach the kids when they are in your presence, and then, often after they have gone for the day or for your planning, you are left the task of reviewing and providing feedback on their work. It is the never ending story. It takes up a lot of your life and energy, especially when that energy has to be expended on getting students to turn work in and students and parents who aren’t happy with the grades that have been earned. That is the reality of it. I believe in being positive, but I’m also a realist - and restructuring and creating shifts in our thinking about grading have a great impact on your outlook about being in the classroom. It's one of the greatest steps you can take to prevent and comeback from teacher burnout. Want to listen to this message instead of read? You can hear the audio version in my podcast or click the Mp3 below. So let’s unpack this by taking a few steps back. Why do we grade and what do those grades represent? Grades are meant to - emphasis on mean to - show student progress and be a snapshot of their performance in that moment of time. Ideally, that report of progress through grades includes feedback from the teacher, although in the essence of time and all the other things teachers are tasked with doing, speaking from my own experience, that doesn’t always happen as much or as effectively as it should. So that letter, number, percentage, what’s it worth? As a teacher, you may feel as if your success or effectiveness is tied to your students’ grades. When they don’t do well, you may feel it’s a failure on your part. Or maybe you’re frustrated that your students don’t value the need to not just do their best so they truly show what they know, but just getting them to turn the work in so you can grade it! That to me was the most distressing. Theres also the stigma of what a “bad” or poor grade on something means. Some kids and parents deeply internalize it when they don’t do well. And there goes your teaching stress through the roof, because the finger points at you for the child’s lack of success, in their eyes. The Honor Student mentality if you will. Please vote in the poll below: It’s hard, near impossible to get across to others that grades only show so much or just one side of who a child is and what they know. That the world really isn’t about to implode over this one moment in time when you earned a C-. And it also has become quite the battle, even more so in the aftermath of the pandemic, to get students to complete work on time, to find that balance between not taking the final outcome or grade so seriously but having the work ethic to just complete the task at hand. So what are the answers? Well, I don’t have them all, but I do have a few, for dealing with stress that comes with grading. Here are three simple ways teachers can cut down on grading time. #1: Teachers can cut down grading time by grading fewer assignments and focus on quality over quantity. The first thing I did was look at how much and what I was grading. You may have a set number of grades you have to take per term or subject, but do you go way beyond that in order to give your students enough “chances?” Focus on quality assignments that are tied to skills and standards you need to teach, and less on the quota. A high volume of grades, while maybe it appears so, doesn’t equal a higher amount of learning. Use what you gain from monitoring student learning in class formatively instead. And a word about extra credit. I use to tell my students I didn’t know what that was - because I did not give it. Grades are a snapshot of what you know in a moment in time. Padding a grade with extra credit that creates extra work for the teacher sets a precedent that just snowballs - because then everyone wants it. Not having the option of extra credit just makes it that much more important to do your best. Also - I would gladly give extra practice if requested, even self checking, just not a grade boost. #2: Teachers can automate grading by creating self checking assessments to cut down time spent grading. The next thing is to automate as much as possible. To me this means a few things. One, how can you use the technology and program available to you to create assignments that can be automatically graded? Sure, you may still need to provide feedback and direction, but things that you can eliminate being physically done by you, even if it’s some up front work, save you more time in the long term. Another aspect of automating if you will is having ways for students to check their own work. This may depend on the age of your students, and sometimes the maturity and trust level of your class. This also allows them to see their results faster than waiting for you to grade their work. #3: Teachers need to set boundaries for the time when they will grade, post, and accept work from students. The third things is, my favorite word, boundaries, especially around accepting student work. Have set days that you grade, or perhaps set days when you grade certain things. You can also have a set day or time that you will upload grades to make them available for viewing. Along with that is drawing a line regarding when you will take late work. This is my opinion, but I feel when students know there is a deadline, that if they don’t make the deadline, the consequences go into effect, there is more heat to turn things in when they are due. You may not be able to do that, but sometimes when the harsh reality of a zero hits them, it’s enough to make them try harder to adhere to the rules next time. Make sure you communicate your boundaries to students and parents about when you grade, when they can expect grades uploaded, and what the consequences are for not turning in work. A word about communicating to parents about grades... And lastly, what to do about parents and caregivers - and their expectations for what grades should represent regarding their child? I would recommend listening to episode seven about parent communication, because many of the things detailed there about setting boundaries and monitoring emotions can be applied to communicating about grades. The most important thing is to keep conversations about grades tied to student learning and student responsibility. It’s about what they have shown progress wise, and their effort to reasonably complete their work. To recap, here are three things you can do to make grading less of an albatross: One, look at how much you grade and why. Tie your graded assignments to skills and standards and cut the extra chances and the extra credit. Automate grades as much as possible, so that the computer and your students can meet you half way on calculating their grades. Third, set boundaries, days where you grade, times when you post grades, and deadlines for when you will accept assignments. Make sure to communicate these with students and their caregivers so the expectations are clear. Grading takes time and giving feedback is important to the learning process, but it shouldn’t overrule your life. Streamline and keep the focus on student progress and work ethic so you can use your time and talents to teach - and live your life.

Whatever your views on the pandemic, masks, or vaccines, we can all agree this school year started out rough. The one thing we can stand united on is our fatigue and stress. But here you are and here am I, almost 20 years in the classroom. What’s kept me here so long? With last year’s level of crazy, I assumed this year HAD to be better. While the flow and structure of the school day may be inching in that direction, the aftermath of last year’s turmoil is no joke. I get it that the stress, workload, student behaviors, and academic performance has you at a breaking point. You were at a May level of distress when it was only November. I’ve heard of teachers that are walking out, ready to quit/quitting because this - all of this - is too much. And before I go any further, everyone needs to do what is best for themselves. Want to listen to this message instead of read? You can hear the audio version in my podcast or click the Mp3 below. But maybe dropping everything right now in the middle of the year - or at the end - and quitting isn’t an option for you, or something you would even consider. The reality is we aren’t going back to a pre-pandemic normal. Not now or possibly ever. This is where we are at, what we are, and what we need to be a voice for going forward. And I feel I need to divulge - I feel bad that, this year, I’m actually having the best year in over a decade. That’s not to discredit anyone’s feelings and experiences this year, it’s just my truth. But a lot of that is because of the changes I have made personally and professionally over the past few years. Next year is a milestone of me of sorts - it’s the big 2-0, 20 years in the classroom. It’s been a twisting, turning ride, that’s for sure. And I’m still here, far removed from where I started - because I still love teaching and love the kids. But what got me - and you - here, won’t keep you here, especially in today’s teaching climate. Things change, and you change, too. And with that, I want to share with you the things I have changed over the years - what I’ve done since COMPLETELY burning out in the 2015-16 school year, to stay in the teaching profession. #1: Your personal life and your school life are two separate lives. Keep it that way. The first change I made was separating my personal identity and my teacher identity. My life, especially during 2014 when I was a state teacher of the year, was oversaturated with being a teacher. Teaching, working in a school is its own ecosystem. The workload, relationships, and student. Needs can and will at some point overwhelm your life. I got to a point where I didn’t know who I was outside of being a teacher. It took several years (all while still teaching full time) of soul searching, taking care of my health, and assessing my interests and goals outside of being a teacher to get to a place where I turn off Erin the teacher and turn on Erin off duty. It’s not that I’m not a good person or change my character out of the classroom - but it’s giving myself permission to fully use my heart and brain to attend to the people, plans, and goals other than what’s teaching /work related. #2: Leave your school work at school - whatever it takes. Change number two was that I stopped taking work home that I didn’t want or need to do. Sounds insane, right? What teacher doesn’t take work home? But it goes back to teacher identity and deciding what kind of life I wanted for myself and my family. In order to make this happen, I have to maximize the time I had during the school day. I had to look at what I was prioritizing. It also meant cutting out some of the extra things I did in order to keep up with the growing list of requirements/ documentation that is demanded of teachers, but in the end it was worth my peace. It also meant my students got a more present, happy teacher that wasn’t as fatigued or resentful because of staying up too late and getting very little time to live life. #3: Grade only what is necessary to document student learning. The third change I made was what and how much I graded. I graded way too much in my early days in the classroom. While you more than likely have requirements as to how many grades you need to take and what standards you cover, you do have some control over what and how much you assess. Sometimes we get caught up what everyone else is doing, what we think looks good and shows students are learning/ working, and holding students accountable. Automating, streamlining, and reprioritizing my grading kept me from throwing in the towel. #4: Stop comparing yourself to other teachers. The fourth change? Quit comparing and playing what I call the “one-up” game. I spent so many wasted moments feeling inadequate because of how someone else’s classroom was organized, what another teacher had boasted regarding their students’ test scores, or how much better another class behaved in the hallway - the list goes on. Teaching can feel like a competition - if you let it. If you allow the numbers or data collection to take center stage in how you rate your effectiveness as a teacher. You have to make a conscious effort not to ride the comparison carousel and/or the brag bus - because it’s time you lose focusing on your students’ growth and needs, and improving your own style and contributions to the classroom. #5: If you aren't happy or thriving in your current teaching position, get out. The fifth change was the biggest and took the longest time to realize. The fifth change was admitting that I wasn’t happy and doing something about it. I got into a rut. I knew the answer to getting out of that rut but feared doing something new. I needed a change. I had outgrown certain commitments, routines, people - my professional life needed an overhaul. What I was doing was no longer where I could serve best and grow. I had changed. You’re supposed to overtime. Not just professionally either - life events tend to have that affect on you, too. You’re allowed to change. But don’t stay stuck and unhappy out of fear of the unknown. For myself, that change meant going from teaching fifth grade to teaching art. Getting certified to teach a new content area, taking courses and classes to learn how to teach art effectively, and going through 17 years of grades 3-5 materials to make room for elementary art supplies. It didn’t make sense to anyone except for me, but on the other side of that change it was what I needed for this next stage of my personal and professional life. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone. And it more than likely will make someone unhappy. Once you break free from the court of public opinion, you’ll see that it was possibly the best thing you ever did. Those are the five changes I made to make it almost 20 years in teaching. To recap, those changes were: Separating my personal identity from my teacher identity, Quit taking work home, Reevaluating what and how much I graded, Stop comparing myself to others, and Admitting that a position was no longer where I needed to be - and doing something about it. Wherever you are in your teaching career, you deserve to have the guidance and confidence to approach the post-pandemic era of teaching in a way that allows you to enjoy your job without losing your way.

It’s here, my friends. The end of a school year like no other. While being tired at the end of the school year is to be expected, the amount of exhaustion you’re feeling after this experience may have you questioning if you can keep doing this year after year. But how can you tell if you’re pandemic tired - or completely done with teaching? No other year has pushed teachers to their limits like this one. The technology, the masks, the ever-changing schedules, the fearing for your health and safety. It’s been hard, it’s been a mess, and it may very well feel like the final straw in a profession that already demands so much. Want to listen to this message instead of read? You can hear the audio version in my podcast or click the Mp3 below. You’re a human being, with feelings and limits. And as much as you may love the kids and love teaching, staying in the education profession after experiencing teaching during a pandemic may feel undoable. As I like to say, if it feels like too much, it probably is. Your feelings matter - and the people who make the decisions in education outside of the classroom need to take notice, because the teacher attrition crisis is about to get even worse. Let’s make this clear: you’ve put up with way more than anyone should have - including from the general public who have never been in your shoes, never taught, but felt the need to denigrate you on social media. If you are feeling demoralized, disgusted, depressed - its origins are in what you’ve been subjected to since March of 2020 - and honestly, before. The stress and subsequent feelings of teachers after dealing with pandemic teaching needs to be a wake up call to address a lot of the things that have been festering in education for decades. So what do you do? Are you really cut out for this? If teaching is going to take this much from you and out of you, should you be going back in the fall? First of all, you have every right as an adult to make decisions for your health and happiness - and that of your family. No one has the right to guilt you into staying or doing something that you know in your heart isn’t for you or that doesn’t fit with your life goals. More often than not, that martyr mentality is at play when teachers express any concerns or desires to leave their posts. You may be good at teaching, but you can be good at other things, too - and at other aspects of education outside of the traditional classroom. Don’t stay stuck out of guilt or shame of wanting a different narrative for your life. Get words of encouragement, book recommendations, and more with the Monday Message delivered to your inbox this summer! But it’s also important to note the circumstances of the pandemic are making the teaching waters a little - no, a lot - cloudy. Teaching is hard - but it’s not always this hard. Those of us who have taught for a while know this, but for a newer teacher - or heavens, a first year teacher - it’s a bit more difficult to separate from this reality. Here’s an idea to help you sort out what you’re feeling and what you want. Make a three column chart. In the first column, list all the things (and if there are a lot of things, maybe the…top 10? Top 20?) that make teaching feel unbearable. In the second column, put a check mark beside the things that were solely brought on by the pandemic. In the third column, put a check mark beside the things that are hard - pandemic or not. If a lot of the things that have you wondering if you can continue in this profession are from the unique circumstances of this year, maybe those aren’t the reasons you should reconsider your career. For example, there will come a time, hopefully in the near future, where we don’t have to dwell on keeping kids x number of feet apart and be on alert for the last time someone washed their hands. Technology will still play a role in supplementing instruction, but it won’t be the shining star of delivering your instruction. If this year feels like hitting rock bottom, you can rest assured the only way you can go from here is up. But what if you look at that list and see there are a lot of things that have nothing to do with pandemic teaching - it’s just that teaching in general feels like more than you have to give? Here are some questions to ask yourself about those things: Can I change how I do it? For example, if grading has worn a hole in your soul, can you change how much you grade? How you grade? Would you be open to suggestions for how to streamline and automate your grading practices? I’ll be revisiting this topic in the fall over a series of blog posts. Can I change how much I value it? An example for this one: if you are a perfectionist and can’t leave until every paper is put away, everything is written on the board, every assignment accounted for - are you willing to admit you need to let go of some of that control? It’s a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes we cause our own problems - I admit I’ve done it before, too! Can I change how much I let it affect me? I’ll give the example here of parent communication. Raise you hand if you’ve ever gotten an email or phone call from a parent that’s crushed your spirit. Or a student being unappreciative, or… I could go on. We put a lot of stock in people liking us, our decisions, and our classroom practices. When that bubble gets burst over and over, it can really affect your morale over time. Check out this blog post on parent-teacher communication if you’d like to learn more about ways to connect with parents and put distance between you and their reactions. And then - what if you’re done? What if this truly is a chapter in your life that you feel needs to end, being a classroom teacher in your current capacity? Sometimes, we keep coming back each August or September to a situation that no longer serves us because we feel stuck or are scared to make a move. I’ve been there, and hanging on to something that no longer fulfills you doesn’t fulfill anyone else, even those that plead with you to stay because “you’re so good at it.” Sometimes, we stay because we’re scared of what a “different” August or September would look like. We get used to how things are, and that predictability, no matter how underwhelming, can seem safer than the unknown. It’s at those times you have to ask yourself if you’re holding onto thorns. If you think of it like a rose, we can hold so tightly onto something that’s hurting us, just because at one time it was blooming and what we wanted. But things change over time, we change over time, and the time comes when we have to let go to grasp something new. There are times when we need a change from our current situation. I hate to use the word pivot after this year, but I’m going to! It could be that you need a change in grade levels, or maybe a different school. Maybe you would still be fulfilled being a teacher and working with kids, but in a different capacity, such as being an interventionist. Perhaps teaching virtually, if you didn’t hate it, may be something you want to explore further. Or, if you feel you’ve outgrown the classroom, it could be time to take steps to make an impact on students lives from more of a distance - such as being an administrator. Education needs people like you, who understand this is so much more than standing in front of kids every day, to make the decisions that impact out future. If you feel it’s best for you to leave teaching completely, that’s a decision only you can make. Those of us that become teachers do so because we want to have an impact on the future of the world through children. There are other ways to do that beside public education. Regardless of what you choose, no one has the authority to make you feel bad about what you need to live a life you want to live. We get one life, friends - and we’ve spent the greater part of ours over the past year and half consumed with teaching in a pandemic. Take this summer and think about what you need to be fulfilled and have peace in your life, in and out of the classroom. You can be different and be the difference, right after you get some rest and have some peace. I'll be sending helpful tips, strategies, and inspiration each week this summer to help you prepare for school in the fall. Sign up for the Monday Message here. For more help with teaching in this unpredictable world, download my free ebook, The Thrive Guide, below!

Saying no. The truth about setting boundaries is being able to say no with conviction and authority. One little word that can feel so difficult or wrong to say. But being able to say no to the wrong things can make all the difference in your teaching career and life. In this previous post, you learned about five ways you can set boundaries as a teacher so your job doesn’t take over your personal life. One of those five ways was saying no to things when you're already at capacity and/or your heart’s just not in it. I realize that it’s not as easy as it sounds, and as you begin to prepare for next year in the midst of wrapping up this one, it’s important that we talk about how important this really is - because you can’t have boundaries without being able to say it. Don't have time to read this post? Listen to the audio version in my podcast or click the Mp3 below. Let me preface this with I am not telling you to be insubordinate. It’s not about saying no to the needs of our students, or not writing lesson plans, or not showing up for recess duty. It’s about all the little things you get asked to do that aren’t essential to your job or being the teacher your students need - like taking on a student teacher when you really feel you need some time to teach your class without having to teach someone else how to teach your class. Or taking on another committee that meets after school, when you’re already exhausted at the end of the day and your own kids have commitments in the evenings. It can also mean saying no to something you’ve always done, because you’re feeling burnt out and you want to pursue other things. I strive to tell you the truth so that you can be true to yourself. And to do that, we’ve got to unpack some terms you’ve seen me refer to a lot, because they’re the reason we have a hard time saying no. The Martyr Mentality The first is the Martyr Mentality. The belief that you have to give all of yourself - for the sake of your job - because your job is changing kids’ lives. You feel as a teacher it’s wrong, maybe downright immoral, to deny anyone anything that in any way could make your students’ better learners or have a better school experience. Your needs - and often the needs of those you live with - come second. Regardless of the fatigue, lack of free time, or the growing resentment inside of you, you keep doing it because you feel it’s your duty to sacrifice yourself. The Busy Badge Then there’s the Busy Badge, and some of us wear this proudly, humble bragging about how much we have to do. In a way it make you feel like you have purpose, with so much to do and so much expected of you. Having free time or a weekend away from doing school work would just make you feel empty or incomplete. Maybe you even like to lament on social media every once in a while about all the things you “have” to do just to eek out some sympathetic comments and praise to confirm to yourself your worth. The Superhero Syndrome And lastly, there’s the Superhero Syndrome. It's a close cousin of the martyr mentality but a little more serious. You’ve bought into the hype that teachers are superheroes and can do anything with any situation. Stay up past midnight grading tests, deal with a classroom chock full of behavior issues, take a student from a first grade reading level to a fourth in six months, stay until seven every evening to make sure your room is perfectly prepared for the next day. You can do it! Sleep is for the weak! You are…SUPER TEACHER!!! When you hear it, it does start to sound a little nuts. Because you alone aren’t responsible for your students’ shortcomings, nor will you be able to meet them even half way if you martyr yourself to the point where you can't even take care of yourself. That busy badge? It may make you feel proud to wear it, but deep down, you know it’s a heavy accessory and you wish you could just feel like you were enough with less. And you can be a super teacher, without trying to emulate the Hulk or Captain America by powering through an obscene amount of expectations and letting your very mortal well-being disintegrate. Looking for more words of wisdom each week? Make sure you're getting the Monday Message delivered to your inbox! It all starts by saying no to the things you know aren’t meant for you at any moment in time. But I get it. Letting go of the Martyr Mentality, Busy Badge, and Superhero Syndrome is hard. It all points back to teacher guilt. The shame of having to admit that too much really is too much. That we’d be happier with less. That all the extra junk - some of which is self imposed - is keeping us from even wanting to stay in the classroom. The irony isn’t lost on me that teaching, the cornerstone profession of the humanities, denies many of us the right to be human. And that’s been put to the test this year. You can’t say no until you understand the forces behind it. I know this because I am a recovering teachaholic. I was all the above things, and pushed myself beyond what I needed to do for my physical and emotional health because I thought it made me a better teacher - and made up for all the other things I perceived as shortcomings in my life. I had to crash and burn to see the light. Also, I read The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst, a book all about saying no. I read it in two days, over one Thanksgiving weekend. That’s what it took for me to realize I was killing myself and my relationships - and that many of the things I was committing myself to were no longer my assignment. And I want better for you - instead of being burnt out pouring over a book on a holiday weekend. You have a purpose and can make an enormous impact on this world - but you won’t find it and have peace in your life if you can’t say no and take everything on. As I’ve said before, it comes down to opportunity cost. No means yes to something else - and vise versa. It’s a reckoning to admit that some things are not meant for you - or anyone! There are things that no longer serve a purpose in education or that could be done more effectively, without being the time suck or the formality that they currently are! Another reason saying no is important? Resentment. Over time, you may continue to do all the things, but if you truly are at a point where it isn’t sustainable or you need a break, you’re not going to be happy or fulfilled - or healthy. And all those ugly feelings begin to color how well you do all the things, to the point where they would probably be better done by someone else. Being jaded and resentful of your lack of time and energy doesn’t do anyone any favors. And it’s not a good use of your purpose as a teacher, spouse, or friend. You’re allowed to have a plan for your career, hobbies, and family. You’re allowed to change - that’s normal as you go through life and experience different things. That’s just as important, if not more, than your job. Being a teacher is enhanced by all of those aspirations you have, because kids and future teachers need to see you as a well rounded, fulfilled human being - not a martyr or a superhero. That’s not going to attract people to the profession or encourage kids to have healthy habits. So how do you go about saying this “no” word, because I know you fear the backlash and disappointing others. At this link, you’ll find a cheat sheet you can keep by your computer or desk of ways you can say no. But honestly, only one way matters - and that you say it and mean it. You don’t need to defend your reasoning to prove it to yourself more than anything why it’s not for you to do. You also don’t need to sit on the fence. If you’re asked to do something, it’s okay to need some time to think about if it’s the right fit for you. But don’t prolong your response if you know you really can’t do something. Dragging your feet out of fear of how the other person is going to respond won’t make it any easier. Nothing breaks your resolve to start saying no more than upsetting or disappointing people. You may feel terrible at first, like you’re the bad guy or girl, or “the one who doesn’t care.” When someone really wants you to do something, because they genuinely need a warm body, you can be guilted or manipulated into saying yes. So in these cases, it helps to have a script of some sort - like this download of ways to say no - to repeat and affirm your intentions. If you think it would help, you may want to have a sit down with your administrator to let them know you need to cut back on your commitments. You can provide some reasons why if you want, but not if it’s going to be used to try to get you to change your mind. Don’t let someone treat you like a child - and even kids should have their feelings respected. The reality is you may very well learn who genuinely cares about you - even in a school where the mantra is “we’re a family” - when you are no longer able or willing to do something. Sometimes it reveals a toxic dynamic that you didn’t notice, and then you have some other decisions you have to make. I know it feels awful when you’ve let someone down. But understand that a lot of that feeling come from basing too much of your self worth on your job and the identity that comes from doing all the things. We’ve been conditioned to believe this good/bad narrative about ourselves. Life has many aspects, education has many aspects - you may get to explore them if you start saying no and establishing boundaries. But the demands of teaching will continue to be unreasonable until more of us step in as the voice of reason. This doesn’t mean you start saying no to everything! If an opportunity presents itself to be a part of something you’ve been waiting for or that excites you, go for it! This profession needs people who have found their niche and are doing the things that make them feel alive. You may find when you start saying no to the things that feel wrong, you can better pick up on the opportunities that feel right. You have a purpose and worth beyond anything you can comprehend - but without some white space in your life, you may never find it. Your “yes” and your time, talents is worth something and you get to use it at your discretion. Being a fulfilled, happy person can make you a fulfilled, happy teacher - and allow you to be who you are meant to be and the teacher your students need to see. To review, saying no to things to are too much or are not right for you is the most important thing you to set boundaries. For too long you’ve been driven by the false narratives of the Martyr Mentality, Busy Badge, and Superhero Syndrome. Saying no gives you time to think, live, and be present. There are ways to say no, but the most important thing is to say it with confidence, so you don’t leave people hanging or misinterpreting your response. Not everyone is going to like it, and it may hurt. But your worth as teacher and person is greater than one more committee assignment. Hold out for the things that make you excited energized, and your no may be the most important yes you say. Would you like a dose of encouragement and strategies before you step into your classroom each week? Sign up for the Monday Message here. For more help with teaching in this unpredictable world, download my free ebook, The Thrive Guide, below!

Hold on tight ! The end of the year is in sight, and that leaves many a teacher bracing themselves for the crazies to reach their peak. Report cards, testing, behaviors issues galore! Yup. The end of the year can give you the same exhaustion you would get if you went on five field trips back-to-back. Get ready for three simple tips to make it to the end of the year with your sanity intact. Need to listen on the go? Download the podcast episode or listen below. The end of the school year is near - but that doesn’t mean calm waters and smooth sailing by any means. In a year where the stress has been on an entirely different level since day one, can it really get any worse? All joking aside, the end of the year is a time to celebrate - but it’s also sometimes the hardest on your health - especially if you are simultaneously making plans and decisions for next school year. For the rest of the season, we’re going to focus on how to get through the last weeks of school - and how to go about preparing for the year ahead. It’s also going to be the focus of the Monday Message, weekly strategies and encouragement I send out to my subscribers - you can find the link below. Before you start thinking about next year or even this summer, you’ve got to think about how to get through the next few weeks with your kids - while they are being encouraged to do their best on the test and also gearing up for the summer. Everything feels like it’s being tested at the end of the year, whether it’s skills, stamina, or patience. Regardless, you deserve to not have everything disintegrate into chaos at the last minute. That’s not how any of us want to go into our well deserved summer break. You and your students need to have some joy here at the end to finish on a positive note. So here are three tips to follow at the end of the year - or, before any major break or time off from school, to maintain order and harmony in your classroom until the final bell rings. Keep your lessons and activities for the end of the year simple. Social media is amuck with gorgeous pics of fun looking, themed activities to usher in the spring season. If you have some of these lessons planned in the next few days, good for you! If you are running on empty and don’t think you can crank out anything out-of-the-box over the next few days, that’s okay, too. This year has done a number on our executive function - for both teachers and students. Sometimes, adding more bells and whistles when things have been blowing nonstop creates too much noise. Sticking to the basics this last few weeks (and in any other) won’t make you less of a teacher and won’t make your kids have any less of a memorable year. Trust me, they won’t forget 2020-21. Everyone’s goal is to get to the finish line. You can get there with glitter and scavenger hunts, or by taking a reliable stroll. If social media is wearing you down with your own battle of expectation versus reality, you’ve got to go back and listen to episode three or read this post on how to tell if your social media feed is making you sick. At the end of the year, keep your routines and daily schedule structured. Chances are, you have some things scheduled for this week - either school wide (hello, virtual talent show) or with your class (The 5th grade “Growing Up” talk. That’s all I have to say about that). It’s easy when there are already interruptions galore to throw up your hands and just let things dissolve into extra long recesses and pick-your-own-partner, even if you have a plan and procedure for everything in your room down to how you stick pencils in the sharpener. Keep that structure, sis (or bro). Whether you realize it or not, your students thrive on it, even in a year where routines have been difficult to establish. The week will run a lot smoother and your kids are more likely to stay focused and out of trouble if you stick to your regularly scheduled times and activities as much as possible. And third, continue to keep your students safe at the end of the year. Spring time in the fifth grade can only mean two things are guaranteed. One, my darling children, even the ones wise beyond their years, will take more risks at recess than a contestant on that crazy TV show Wipeout. Two, with hormones and tempers blazing, I will start to feel like my classroom is morphing into an 80s after school special on mean girls/guys. We all, teachers and students alike, need to be physically and emotionally safe. Put your focus and the energy you have reserved for school into ensuring your students make the best choices possible this week - so nobody goes into summer with a broken bone or a broken heart. We always remember how people make us feel. Your class may not remember that tech-laden lesson you slaved over to review fractions, but they’ll never forget the time they got hurt - or were kept safe. See that flicker of light at the end of the tunnel??? In the next few weeks, it’s going to turn into a blazing flame of “I made it to Summer Break!” Keep things simple, structured, and safe, and you won’t lose your grip. Would you like a dose of encouragement and strategies before you step into your classroom each week? Sign up for the Monday Message here. Want more help with teaching in this topsy-turvy world right now? Download my free ebook, The Thrive Guide, below!

How many times have you been told to practice self care this school year? I have a feeling it’s been so many that it’s begun to feel a bit cliche. I bet if you had a nickel for every time someone ended an email or message on social media about self care this year, you could buy stock in Ticongeroga pencils. You’re probably in the homestretch to Spring Break, if you aren’t having it already, and we’re all a little worse for wear at this point. The self care reminders have been coming in hot, usually without any definition about what self care actually is. What if I told you that self care alone isn’t what you need to make it to the end of this school year and through the next? Read on or listen to the podcast episode below. Let’s talk about what self care is - and why that’s not the problem. Self care is taking action to preserve or improve your health - be it physical, mental, or emotional. I could get into the six types of self care, but I’d rather just let you Google that and get to the truth you may not find on any search engine. And that truth is: you are already an expert on self care. You don’t need an email reminder or an unnecessary gadget some Instagram influencer is getting paid to promote to make it happen. Yes, I am calling out the people trying to make a buck off of your distress. Self care is not the affiliate links for face steamers and essential oils - you heard it here first. Let’s be real: you are already a care aficionado. As teachers and a profession dominated by women, we understand nurturing like no other. No doubt in my mind you can ID when someone needs rest, interaction, space, food, love - we see it all the time in our students and colleagues. The problem is prioritizing those needs in yourself and not denying yourself the same things you would give to someone else - with no judgment - in a blink. It’s been ingrained in us to care, and unfortunately that also means we’ve been conditioned to put ourselves last. Now, there are certainly times when we aren’t the number one priority. But too often than not, especially this year, your needs and possibly your family’s needs have taken a backseat because of the demands of your job. It comes down to that martyr mentality. And if I bring it up too much, it’s because I want you to see it for the devil reincarnate that it truly is. We’ve been conditioned in education to accept that it’s okay - actually, it may very well be expected - to run ourselves into the ground for the sake of our classrooms. Because, after all, aren’t we here for the kids? At some point this year or in years prior, you have probably been made to feel - either by others or yourself - that if you don’t give every last drop, you are failing your students. That. Is. Garbage. It is impossible to practice self care at any level with this mentality living in the back of your head. And the brutality of the expectations this school year, the callousness directed at teachers regarding their well beings, is your wake up call to be a part of changing the narrative. If you're going to be there for the kids, you have to be there for yourself - first. A question I have for school leaders, mostly those who aren’t at the schools in the trenches, is if they really want teachers to practice self care, or if they are saying that because it "sounds good." Do they realize the contradiction in telling teachers to take care of themself while in the next sentence to get back into the classroom, regardless of if they’ll get a vaccine to protect them? I'm hearing something to the effect of, "Make sure you take care of yourself, now teach kids online and in person at the same time - and get them ready for that big test in the spring." To me, the contradiction is glaringly obvious. And they risk losing a generation of teachers and the education of thousands of students because of it. When it comes to leadership, communication matters - right up there with conscience. Many leaders right now need to take a look at the disconnect between their words and actions. Want more words of wisdom each week, delivered to your inbox? Make sure you're getting the Monday Message! Here are the brass tacks. What you need is deeper than the traditional view of self care. Let’s talk about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs - you know, the pyramid we learned about in college, what kids need before they can be successful? At the base of the pyramid are physiological needs (survival), then safety, love and belonging, esteem, and at the very top self actualization. Adults need those same things as well - and self care should reflect that. I’d like to share with you my Inverted Pyramid of Self Care. You can push it right up next to Maslow’s Pyramid and make a perfect square, how’s that for geometry? Self Indulgence I’ll start at the bottom and work my way up. At the bottom tip of the inverted pyramid is Self Indulgence. Netflix marathons, chocolate, wine, shopping - all the guilty pleasures that get the dopamine flowing! But it’s at the bottom, a very small part of what self care involves, because any of those things in excess isn’t good for you. You’re either blowing money, calories, time, or all of the above. Letting loose is essential, but it’s not all there is. Self Maintenance Next level up is Self Maintenance. This is everything you need to keep your body going inside and our. Doctors visits, hair appointments, exercise, balancing your checkbook. In contrast to indulging, this is keeping all the gears in your life moving so to speak, so you feel and look in a way that makes you happy and gives you peace. Self Control The next level is Self Control. This is a big one for teachers, especially if the martyr mentality has its teeth in you. I guess another name for this would be self regulation. Can you turn off, stick to your boundaries, choose where to expend your energy? It’s a work in progress for me for sure. But too much or too little of anything isn’t good. Getting control and taking responsibility for our actions isn’t a level of self care that looks good in pictures on Instagram, but it can have some of the greatest impact on your health. Self Awareness After that, is Self Awareness. What do you need to feel fulfilled? What would make you feel better about life? Are you an extrovert or an introvert, and how can you honor that in your life choices? What are your triggers that impact your self control? Knowing what you are about and how you function huge in improving your physical and emotional state. When you are self aware, you are better able to help your students become that way as well. Self Empowerment At the top, the broadest category of what self care should entail, is Self Empowerment. You deserve better than to feel stuck. To feel demoralized. This is taking action and finding the resources to be the person you want to be. Empowerment looks different for everyone. It can be going back to school to get the knowledge you need to change jobs. It may be just using your confidence to not let others make you feel bad about your decisions. It can be having the courage to be a voice in a profession that needs realness and compassion if it’s going to retain and attract quality people. Most of all, self empowerment is feeling strong and whole enough to let your story, your perspective be the lens for others to see someone they can relate to, a reason to not give up and to practice…you guessed it - a redefined version of self care. It’s coming full circle, coming to peace with what has been and what can be. To review - self care is about nurturing who you are and attending to your own needs - so you have the wholeness to reach those who need you most. You know how to do it - you just need to feel that you are allowed to prioritize yourself when the education world is sending you mixed messages. In a redefined, inverted pyramid of self care, we work our way up the inverted pyramid: Self Indulgence Self Maintenance Self Control Self Awareness Self Empowerment It’s maybe not the message every one in charge wants you to hear, but it’s the one you need the most. There’s a great opportunity on the other side of this pandemic to reimagine how we do things in education, starting with how teachers view themselves. You can’t be all you need to be for anyone when you don’t feel like you can or should be prioritizing the needs of your family and yourself. Would you like a dose of encouragement and strategies before you step into your classroom each week? Sign up for the Monday Message here. Want more help with teaching in this topsy-turvy world right now? Download my free ebook, The Thrive Guide, below!

If teaching in front of a computer all day has you feeling just as drained if not more than teaching in front of a classroom full of kids, you’re not alone. Zoom fatigue, also known as online fatigue, if for real. If you’re looking for a reprieve from being in front of a screen 24-7, you may find the answers you’re looking for in this interview with Megan Brown. Megan is a 6th grade teacher currently teaching at a fully online school that her district put together for this year. She is a Google certified educator level 1 and 2 and will be graduating with a Masters in instructional design and technology in the Spring of 2021. She enjoys learning new technology resources and coming up with meaningful lessons using different resources, with her favorite resource being Google Forms. Megan is also the host of the podcast "So You Want to Teaching with Technology." Are you ready to beat Zoom Fatigue so you can "zoom" to other things beside the million tabs on your laptop? Read on or listen to the podcast episode below. Q: How teaching has changed for you since the start of the pandemic? A: Teaching has done a complete 180 for me since the start of the pandemic. We went virtual in March last year using Schoology as our LMS. I created lessons and practice activities teaching 6th grade math. This year, I signed up to be a 100% virtual teacher using a pre-made curriculum on the platform that came with the curriculum, and I am teaching 6th grade social studies. It is extremely challenging because I have to do a lot of research before I create lessons because I have never taught social studies (my specialty is science and math), and we have a lot less interaction with students which I am not enjoying. I am a part of my district’s design team trying to plan out what the virtual school will look like next year, so hopefully a lot of those challenges will be fixed for next year. Q: There’s a lot of debate in the news and social media about students returning to school and the validity, if you will, of remote teaching (if remote teaching is “real teaching”). Describe for us a day in the life of a remote teacher and what goes into preparing for teaching online. A: Our school is running things a little differently since we have a pre-made curriculum, because we developed our virtual school in survival mode, so right now a day in my life starts with a morning meeting to do a social emotional lesson with my advisory class. Then, each teacher has office hours for 1 hour. Monday and Wednesday we host live lessons. I usually use something like Nearpod so students are interacting with the lesson and it is not just a PowerPoint presentation. Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday we answer questions and help students with their assignments. Before and after office hours I am usually planning lessons or in meetings like curriculum meetings, IEP meetings, or meeting with my team members. I also usually have Go Guardian up so students can message me if they have questions. I also reach out to students to do 1-on-1 check-ins. I also spend a lot of time reaching out to parents of struggling students to try to get them back on track. I spend so much time on my email and my phone contacting people. I notice even with virtual teaching, I tend to be juggling many things at one time. I think a student can absolutely have a quality education online. I think teachers are struggling right now because you have to relearn how to teach. But now that we have some practice and I am sure everyone has gotten professional development and practice I think teachers are much more prepared now and doing a great job. I love teaching online and cannot wait to see how our district's virtual school will change and improve in the coming years. Q: Teaching was physically and emotionally demanding in a pre-pandemic classroom. How has the level or type of fatigue changed for you as a remote teacher? A: I think I have the same level of fatigue as I did before the pandemic, but the nature of the fatigue has changed. At the beginning of virtual teaching, I felt extremely drained from staring at a screen for so long and constantly had headaches. This has subsided as my body has adjusted, but I was so surprised how physically drained I felt even though I only had a few hundred steps in a work day. The emotional fatigue is extremely noticeable. I always feel stressed about students who are struggling because it is so taxing worrying about their grades, their well-being, and their emotional state. Now I have those same worries, but I feel like I have so much less control because I cannot physically make them do their work like I can in person. I know I could never make someone work, but I could place the activity in front of them and hold them after class. The feeling of having no control and worrying like crazy over some of my students is something I have not felt before and something I was not expecting. Want more words of wisdom each week, delivered to your inbox? Make sure you're getting the Monday Message! It has definitely made me realize how many people do not give the impression that they care about their student’s education and that is so disheartening. At the same time, it is amazing to see how many students are actually thriving in this environment and go above and beyond. We are starting genius hour, and these kiddos are so excited to start working on their projects. Q: Whether we want to or not, many of us have to make remote or hybrid teaching work for the time being. What are some things that teachers can do to alleviate the exhaustion from sitting in front of a computer 24-7? A: What has helped me the most is creating a daily schedule for myself. So every day I grade at the same time, lesson plan at the same time, call parents at the same time. This structure is helpful because the day just all ran together before I started sticking to a schedule, and I would never know when to stop working. In your schedule, you need a stopping time as well where you do not check your email, you are done grading and lesson planning, you put work down. You need a boundary because it can be hard to separate your work like from your personal life especially if you are working from home. Next, I would schedule a time where you are going to do some exercise to get moving. That was one huge difference between teaching in person and online is I just don't move as much so taking 20 minutes to stretch, do yoga, or I got a cheap elliptical for my house, just something to give yourself a break from the computer. Also, it is important to schedule a specific lunch time where you will not meet with people. When I first started working, I would always put my students first. If they wanted a meeting now, they got a meeting now. It got to the point where I would not eat lunch until 3:30 when our day was over. So now I protect my lunch time. I will not meet with students, I will take that half an hour to take a break and eat. It is great for you physically because you function much better when you have that sustenance, but it was also so helpful mentally because I allowed myself to step away and not feel guilty about it. Lastly, find ways throughout the day to communicate with people. I work from home and it is just me and my cat, so it can get really lonely. I find when I am able to do a phone call or video call with a friend of my family it just gives me energy to keep working. I love calling my sister during lunch and watching my nephew on a video call. When you are working in person you are constantly bombarded with people, so those little moments where you can get some communication with the outside world can do wonders on your mental health. Q: Sometimes, it comes down to changing how we do things - working smarter not harder so to say - to get through an experience and establish a healthier way of working in general. What are some strategies teachers can use to streamline their teaching experience so they can get some reprieve from online fatigue? A: There are a lot of ways we can work smarter rather than harder. One way I mentioned before is just having and sticking to a schedule so you do not get wrapped up in one thing and forget about your needs. To help streamline calling parents, my team always documents when we call parents so we are able to share that workload. I know a common problem I have is when parents will not pick up the phone. What I have found helpful, and this may not be something that everyone is comfortable with, but I feel comfortable texting parents using a Google Voice account so it is not my actual number. I have been calling parents and leaving a message, but I will follow up with a text that says I don’t know if you got my message, but here is what’s going on if texting is easier for you. A lot of parents respond to texts rather than phone calls or emails, so that has been helpful in just getting parents to respond. I have also found a great tip for responding to emails. There are a few emails that I send out regularly like if people miss our morning meeting, they have to fill out a google form so that will count as them being present for the day. I also send out weekly emails to students who are failing and copy their parents. On Gmail, you can make email templates so you do not have to keep typing the same thing or even copying and pasting. Using templates has actually decreased my stress levels. Whenever I went to send the same email over and over I got a sense of dread like I really don’t want to do this, but using templates has been such a life and time saver. It is a setting you have to turn on, but it is very easy and I have a video on my social media (you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @2teachwithtech) that shows you how to do it. When it comes to grading, I would say it is okay to not grade everything. You can send out an answer key and have students judge their own work. Another thing I have done is go over the answers in a live lesson and record the lesson and send it out to students. You could even make an assignment where they have to watch the video and complete a google form where they select if they had the right idea for the assignment, had some struggles, or were way off and if they still have questions after seeing the answers. This way you can still get a sense of where students are at with the content without having to grade. I know I have 140 students, so I try to limit what I have to grade to 1 or 2 activities a week because it just takes so long to go through them all. I would also make use of things that can be self graded. I know a lot of people use Google classroom, so if you do, make sure you are creating quizzes in Google forms from the Google classroom platform. When you create them in Google classroom the grades will automatically upload to your gradebook which saves you the step of entering in grades for each student. Q: Even if you don’t contract COVID, your physical and mental health is impacted by the isolation and limited mobility this school year. How can teachers keep moving and stay connected to each other to combat the drain of teaching online? A: I would say similar to how to alleviate online fatigue it is important to schedule breaks where you can get up and move or exercise, or do this before or after school. If you are like me and struggle with accountability, find an accountability partner. I have a coworker who is my accountability partner, so we talk every Tuesday and Thursday and tell each other what exercises we did that day. We get up and work out before our online school starts. Having an accountability partner also helps you stay connected with other people outside your home. Another way to stay connected with your coworkers is to have virtual happy hours or some way to have fun. Just try to make some time to communicate in fun ways so that you are not just talking about work all the time and are able to laugh together. I listened to a presentation one time by Jack Burkemeyer, and he emphasized the importance of laughter. I cannot remember the specific number but he said something like if you do not laugh at least 9 times a day you are doing your job wrong. That is something I have noticed is I do not find myself laughing as much teaching online, so making opportunities to just hang out with students or coworkers and just laugh is great for your mental health. I also think if you are struggling with mental health, now is the perfect time to try to see a therapist. A lot of them are able to meet virtually or do phone call sessions if you do not want to go in person. Q: It’s important to note that it’s not just teachers feeling the online fatigue this year; our students are also spending much more time than ever before learning in front of a screen. What are some ways teachers can structure their class time or instruction to help students beat online fatigue? A: The first suggestion I have is to make online interactions engaging. I actually have an entire podcast episode about engaging students online if you want a lot of specific ideas. The main takeaways I have are to make sure when you are doing a lesson, get students involved. I like to start lessons off with a virtual ice breaker. My favorite right now is doing 4 corners with Jamboard. I will ask a question with 4 different options, and students move a sticky note with their name to the corner for their response. Nearpod is a great tool to do this because you can embed quiz or poll questions, collaboration boards for students to write their ideas, there are 3D virtual tour options, lots of ways for students to be active in their learning. I also like to use breakout rooms for student discussions, but I have noticed students are very hesitant to talk, so I always use something where they can communicate in other ways as well. I like setting up a Jamboard so each group has their own slide where they can record their ideas to a question. This is also nice because I can go through the slides and see where groups need a little prompting. A great way to help students with motivation on activities where they are working asynchronously is having menu choice boards so they can have more ownership of their learning and complete tasks that are engaging to them. Another way to help students is to allow time for play. Students are at home and experiencing the isolation just like we are, so having opportunities for them to just talk and play games with each other is so important for their mental health. This is an area my teaching team has actually improved so much on. We have started doing monthly reward days where students can pick an activity they want to do. We have played Among Us in breakout rooms on google meet, we have watched a movie together and socialized during the movie on a google meet, we have done crafts together, and the kids really love having that opportunity. We also started a reward system using Class Dojo so students can earn Dojo points for things like doing their work, attending live lessons, having their camera on, and things like that. Then we created a Google form that lists different rewards they can use their points for. They range in ideas like positive notecards home, having a google meet lunch or game session with two friends, an assignment pass, so they can miss an assignment, and we even have teacher taste test because they have a weird obsession with wanting to see us miserable and the one that is the most points is we will send them a pizza. This has been great for morale and it has gotten a lot of students to turn their camera on so it feels more like a class. Actually seeing student faces makes a huge difference. Q: While the end is in sight, we don’t know for certain when or how our altered state of teaching is going to return to anything close to normal. Chances are, there are aspects of teaching online or using digital learning along with in-person that are here to stay. What are some things that need to be considered for the future, either on a school or district level, to help teachers use technology to reach their students and still take into account the physical and mental drain that comes from being in front of a screen? I think you bring up a great point. My district is actually continuing our virtual school for as long as people will sign up because we have found there are a lot of kids who learn better this way, or it is helpful if they have to help support their family and have a job while in school. I think it is important that teachers are getting continuing professional development on online tools and strategies because technology just changes so frequently. I made a podcast episode about Google Meet features and it is already out of date! I think it is also important that we hold students accountable for online work. Right now with everything going on it is important that we are giving students grace, but as this becomes more of a lifestyle than a survival method it will become necessary. Finally, I think it is necessary for schools to provide instruction about online safety and just how to use technology for school. I think most schools probably do some of this. I know we always have to do a day or two of online safety like don’t give out personal information online, but I think more structured instruction will be necessary as we continue. Students are great at figuring things out on their own with technology, but with how frequently things change and how heavily we are starting to rely on technology formal instruction would be helpful for everyone. To recap some the amazing pieces of advice from Megan: Create a daily schedule, including scheduling a time when you’ll get up and move and eat. Consider using templates for Google forms to streamline your communication with parents. Be intentional about the assignments you grade, and involve students in the assessment process. Allow time to connect with students online in an interactive and fun way, and let them know their efforts are appreciated. Megan provided some great advice for anyone who has found themselves teaching in front of a computer this year. Be sure to subscribe to her podcast "So You Want to Teach with Technology" and check out her resources on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @2teachwithtech. You can also watch her YouTube channel, listen to her podcast, or read her blog on her website here. Would you like a dose of encouragement and strategies before you step into your classroom each week? Sign up for the Monday Message here. Want more help with teaching in this topsy-turvy world right now? Download my free ebook, The Thrive Guide, below!

Sooner or later, it’s bound to happen. That email. The note handed to you first thing in the morning. An unexpected phone call - or meeting. Keeping parents informed about their children’s progress and behavior is a given part of the job, but addressing the hard moments when things aren’t going well has a steep learning curve. How can you improve parent teacher communication? Read on or listen to the podcast episode below. Communicating to parents or caregivers as a teacher is as certain as the sky is blue. The problem often lies with how to respond when things go wrong. Or...when the person on the other end of the screen, paper, or phone line is angry with you. Or...when you need to be professional, but the same person asking you for help is bashing you or the teaching profession in general on Facebook. Let's acknowledge some things first. We are all under the stress of constant change and disruption to our normal - in addition to the expected snags of misbehavior, missing work, concerns that come from being the teacher to kids. Our students having to learn away from school has disrupted the home environment - that’s a fact; it’s changed the flow of routine and revealed some great inequalities in education. And many families were not and may not still be equipped to have their child learning optimally from home 24-7. NO ONE said this situation brought on by the pandemic and remote learning was ideal - but many of the changes that have caused inconvenience to families have not been done to harm but as a means of survival. Learn optimally or live optimally - that is the question, and I know it has lead to heated debate and callousness on the value of someone’s life, even if they are deemed “essential.” It’s been demoralizing to have to defend the stance that staying alive shouldn’t come second fiddle to a safe teaching and learning environment - and many of those accusations from the community may very well be coming from parents. I understand the intensity of the situation - and that it hasn’t made communication any easier. You’ve have to adapt the way you’ve had to relay information to families this year - whether it’s by email, tutorials, or phone calls from your personal device (which I am vehemently against because of my boundaries). More than ever before, your personal time has been consumed by communicating to parents about how students are doing and what they need to do in order to be successful in this learning environment. No matter your intentions or how thorough you are, someone is bound to get upset or confused about something you’ve said/not said, done/not done. And the stress of this entire situation often comes roaring through in a negative, hurtful diatribe that you get to intercept. As a teacher, you’re on the receiving end of a parent’s anger more times than you want to admit. The stress and overwhelm from both sides this year just worsens the distress on the parents’ end and leaves you as the teacher more vulnerable. I get it. You’re doing everything you can and probably way more than you should be doing at this point. That sick feeling you get when you see one more email, one more note, or hear that voice once again really wears your heart and soul out and can deflate any ounce of joy teaching gives you. All it takes is one more hurt than you can handle to make you feel like it's not worth it. I’ve been there, even as an art teacher. We’re going to dive into parent-teacher communication and how you can do this in a way that preserves your peace of mind while still being effective. There are no catchy acronyms this time around, just me being practical and brass tacks about what I’ve come to find helpful over the past 18 years. As teachers, we know how to communicate - probably better than many other professions! We do it all day long in many different formats. So I’m on your side, remember that as I get going here. But there are some hard truths we need to look at when it comes to communicating with parents so that we can have boundaries and our sanity in tact at the end of the year. Here’s the most pivotal truth about parent teacher communication. Too often, you’re giving away your power. Your peace of mind - whether it’s correcting student behavior or addressing missing assignments - depends on your response. Your reaction. The problem is our responses are steeped in emotion, because teaching is emotional. It’s a part of our identity, although it shouldn’t be your entire identity, mind you. A professor I had at WVU once said that the two driving forces behind a parent’s anger are fear and love. That child is the best they’ve got. So anything that goes wrong with or for said child triggers a tidal wave of emotion for them. With the dependence on virtual communication, the height and brazenness of the messages we receive has also gotten even more stinging, because people are much braver behind a screen. And who’s in the line of fire when that tidal wave lets loose? Oh it’s you, make no mistake. I’ve had a student or two (actually more) in my time where, at the beginning of the year, I was warned repeatedly that this child’s parents were going to be extremely difficult to deal with. I prefer to give everyone a clean slate in a new year, new classroom dynamic, but these conversations happen. I’m not saying that some of those warnings didn’t turn out to be spot on, because clean slate or not, past is prologue. But even when I was up to my eyeballs in my own martyr mentality, I’d be waiting for things to go south with a parent, even when I had to address something with the child - and it never happened. At least to the extent I was told about. So I don’t have all the answers, but I must have some wisdom about this topic. Want more words of wisdom delivered to your inbox? Make sure you're getting the Monday Message! I’m going to use a swimming pool analogy. So picture this - someone’s in distress in the deep end of a pool. Their arms are flailing, they may have been in the deep end before or a decent swimmer but for whatever reason they are in need of help. So what’s your reaction? We want to put an end to the distress, we don’t want to them to drown, so we jump in. We know how to swim, we can get them to safety and help them out. But what happens when we get to them flailing around in the pool? They grab hold! You’re there to help and they’re in a panic. And suddenly, you are too! Because you’re in rescue mode now, and you’ve got to pull them and you through the water. In fact, they may very well make you feel like you’re the one drowning before it’s over with, because their weight and their distress is bearing down on you as you creep ever so slowly it seems to the edge of the pool. Because you’re a strong swimmer, you get everyone to safety - but at what cost? The person is saved, but you sure are worn out because of how much energy you put into that rescue attempt. It’s the same thing with communicating to parents. Teaching’s part of your identity, and when they express displeasure, you go into fix it mode or ride the defense because it feels like an attack on you personally. Either you want to make things all better ASAP to put out the fire or you’re ready to make your case. That’s jumping in the pool. A lot of that reaction comes from listening (or reading) to reply instead of listening (or reading) to understand. When you feel you are constantly under attack from the onslaught of changes and the undercurrent of nasty comments about the teaching profession in general on Facebook, that’s an understandable reaction, because you’re just sick of it and rightly so. But that jumping in the pool to save people and circumstances? Yeah, it’s effective and you’ll get a resolution, but it’s wearing you out. And this year especially you don’t have energy to spare! What’s another way to save a drowning person instead of jumping in the deep end yourself? You’ve got to throw them a lifeline. A flotation device. A raft. A floaty, whatever you need for visualization. Something they can grab onto, and with some guidance, swim to safety. It solves the problem at hand and keeps you physically and emotionally in tact. How does this apply to communicating with parents? Everything. Because things are going to happen, tempers are going to flare. Feelings are going to get hurt. That’s what happens when we interact with each other as adults, just like it happens to the kids. But how something makes you feel can’t dictate your response. That’s why instead of jumping in with your own emotions, you’ve got to throw out a lifeline. This preserves your authority in the classroom and your peace of mind. It also sets the precedent for how you’ll react and respond for future matters, which will often impact how they approach you in the future. Okay, so how do you go about this? Well, first of all, which I have stated in several posts before, is your boundaries. I wouldn’t say it so much if it weren’t so very important. As teachers, we feel these kids are our kids, but even parents get a break from their own children when they are in school all day. You are not a 24-hour, on-call consultation service, distance learning or in-person. And if you are living that right now and it’s working for you, I feel confident in saying that it’s not sustainable and not fair to your family, even if your family when you go home in the afternoon is just your dog. You need boundaries for when, where and how you will communicate to parents. Ask yourself these 3 questions: 1. When will I read or respond to messages? This is big. There needs to be a start and end time to access to you, even during remote teaching. It also helps you not dwell on that email or that person if you aren’t looking at your inbox constantly. Putting that distance between responding to emails also helps you think more clearly. It helps you respond rather that react if the what’s staring at you on the screen has you feeling all the things. You’ll have fewer regrets and won’t agree to something that turns out to cause more hassle for you and is not sustainable in the long run. If you read an email that a response to would take more time than you have to properly address, flag it for later. When you respond can come right down the minute. When I had to make a phone call to a parent during my planning or lunch, I would always do it towards the end of the period. Maybe it would be with 10 minutes to spare or 15, 20, depending on the issue. The thing is I would give myself time to plan, or eat first, then make the call. This not only assured I could use my time well, but gave me a way to close the conversation. I could keep my message concise on my end because I knew I needed to go pick up my students from specials or lunch - and I also shared that with the parent, that I had x amount of time before I would need to go get my class. You may think that is sneaky or in poor taste, but you know what? I never had an issue where it kept me from reaching a consensus with the parent, and it was never viewed as disrespectful on my end - in fact I think it cultivated some respect because it showed I wasn’t infinitely available, I had to get back to the rest of the class, like a reality check. 2. Where am I willing to engage in school communication - not just location, but on what devices? I don’t have my school email on my phone. Sure, I could look it up on the web browser and log in if needed, but I don’t want constant updates about what’s coming in my inbox. That’s also my personal device that I paid for and I have the right to not use it for work. I check my email on my school devices only - and only during school hours and once on Sunday evenings. Also, I know your current teaching circumstances may require you to contact parents via phone when you have no other option but to be away from school. I still would suggest using a Google phone number to protect your privacy. I'm no longer a homeroom teacher, but in 18 years I have always drawn the line at giving parents my personal phone number to protect myself. 3. How will I communicate information regarding missing assignments, behavior, or concerns (which form of communication would be best)? This can also come down to you deciding what is the best method for you to use to communicate through. There are so many ways now to connect to families via apps or online - Class Dojo, Remind, Schoology to name a few. There are so many that it’s really become oversaturated and much more complicated than it needs to be. I have come to prefer email over everything because it feels the most professional and it creates a paper trail that is easy to produce if needed. I have found things like Class Dojo great for sending mass messages out about field trips or updates on classroom events, but I don’t care to discuss major issues on them because the text message vibe of those apps seems to make it too easy for the other party to either over contact me or to be too causal towards me for my liking. And along with that comes a combination of #1 and #3: communicating to parents on social media. Don’t. I have friended parents of students in my class that I developed a friendship or a strong rapport with AFTER their child or children were no longer in my classroom. That is very few people though. While their child was in my classroom, I did not. Going back and forth about a classroom issue on Facebook is the equivalent to going down into a snake pit. I’m not speaking from personal experience here, but I can say with certainty I am correct on this one. It's not something that will make your social media feed W.E.L.L. instead of S.I.C.K. So, that’s the foundation for how you’re going to communicate. Now, how do you communicate in a way that addresses the issues? Create a playlist. Not a musical one, but there are certain issues that we know come up during the year - especially with all the technology that’s been added, there are questions or troubleshooting to be had. There are certain rules or procedures in your classroom that you have to reiterate throughout the year as well. Write - type rather - those things out in a format that you would use in an email. I know, you probably told them in a newsletter or welcome back-to- school slide show at the beginning of the year but A LOT has happened since then. You may even consider putting an FAQ section on your classroom website or class page that you could refer parents to when needed, or at least reference in your response. Why do this? It helps you when you need to address a concern that is easy to answer but still requires your time and energy to create a response. You may not be able to perfectly copy and paste every time, but it can give you the framework so you aren’t always stating from scratch. It also helps you stay diplomatic. This is how you do things in your classroom. These are the steps. These are the consequences. Instead of jumping in the emotional deep end, you can refer to your playlist and hand them a life preserver. Back to that listening to respond instead of listening to understand. When you are taking it in - be it a phone call or an email - think of it as collecting information. You’re not on a mission to defend yourself or to make it all better. Take the heat out of it by viewing all parent communication as collecting information - so you can respond effectively. There are three questions you need to address within all your communication and responses to parents in order to be effective: 1. What do you want them to know? This goes back to the playlist. I find this works well, especially when an assignment or procedure is under fire. It keeps you from defaulting to responding emotionally to attacks about your teaching or classroom. Being able to start with “The purpose of this assignment is…” or “I have to do this because…” keeps things professional and matter-of-fact. Tie everything back to student learning - be it behavior, class work, attendance, especially if you are initiating the communication. This also disarms or disengages parents that are upset because it reframes the issue - kind of like defusing a bomb. 2. How do you want them to feel? Sometimes we want to "stick it to ‘em" because we think they’re in the wrong, but do you really want to incite more anger? What does that solve? Remember, there is a human being on the other end of that screen or phone(even if they seem to have forgotten them same for you). Just like you, they are on their own path. And - something that I’ve come to terms with that I must account for - you have to consider their own maturity. As the tables have turned throughout my career and I am the older, wiser party in the communication, I have to account that someone that has not had the life experiences that I have had yet is going to handle themselves differently. When you’re a teacher, you’re not just teaching the kids, you teach the adults as well, and your interaction with them is a chance to teach them how you want to be treated by modeling it. 3. What do you want them or their child to do? Always end your response with putting it back on them, being clear about what the student needs to do to be successful and/or how the parent can assist in the matter. Be extremely clear about this, down to starting with “I need so-and-so to” or “I need you to.” Also state clearly what you are going to do and approximately by when. This is important for that paper trail, if needed, and also to help you before you hit send see in black and white you are agreeing to. Chances are you have already done everything humanly possible in the hours you are allotted each day. Be careful in what you agree to in order to remedy the issue. You don’t want to create a future problem by agreeing to do something that ends up being unsustainable with everything else going on. And it’s okay and wise of you to say that you don’t think you are going to be able to do something because of the number of other students who require your attention or the other demands you have. Remember SET from my post on goals - is it Sustainable; how it uses your Energy; does it make good use of your Time? We’re in an age of instant gratification, where we wanted the answers yesterday. But all a quick back-and-forth guarantees is that something could very well come across the wrong way or just drag out longer than if you would have stopped and just collected information. That’s why it helps to flag emails until you are ready to address them with your full attention. And now, three truths - I think of these as the “hot coals” - to keep in mind for communicating with parents this year and in the future: 1. Many parents are having their eyes opened this year to how their child actually works and behaves during the school day with remote learning. It’s one thing to hear about how your kid’s day was and another to see it all unfold at night after you worked all day - especially when it comes down to completing independent work. Denial is human, as is placing blame. It’s a knee jerk reaction. (It’s why I want you to take the emotion out of your response). Remember, when we’re drowning, we’re looking for something to grab onto. So the social media soundbites of “remote learning is failing” or “it has to be the teacher’s fault” are the quick grabs. It’s hurtful, I know, it’s downright demoralizing. But understanding where the frustration is coming from helps it have less personal impact on you. 2. Disrespect is unacceptable - on either end. It shouldn’t be tolerated or be used to make the other party bend. Remember, you teach more than kids. All caps, personal attacks, threats, general rudeness - none of it moves the needle towards resolution. Keep a paper trail, the email threads, and/or a communication log to show your interactions. You can’t control what other people are going to say and do, but you can do your part - because you know better. I'm telling you better. 3. Sometimes, we do mess up. Not maliciously. We’re overextended, this year in an abnormal capacity (not that it was normal before). Mistakes are bound to happen, and it doesn’t make you a bad teacher. The best thing to do is to own it. Apologize (don’t grovel for forgiveness and say sorry on repeat, just be matter-of -fact about it). Making mistakes is human. You aren’t less of a person or teacher because of it. To review, you can improve your parent teacher communication by setting boundaries regarding the when, where, and how you interact about school matters. Listen or read to understand and collect information so you respond effectively. Think about what you want parents to know, feel, and do. Remember, this year has disrupted everyone’s lives. You can be kind, firm, and graceful in your communications with parents - without jumping in the deep end of the pool. Would you like a dose of encouragement and strategies before you step into your classroom each week? Sign up for the Monday Message here. Want more help with teaching in this topsy-turvy world right now? Download my free ebook, The Thrive Guide, below!

I'll admit it - I found it traumatizing, just watching it on TV. The events that transpired at our nation’s Capitol on Wednesday, January 6, 2021, not only revealed how fractured we are as a nation - they were confirmation we are still on an unpredictable roller coster ride in education and beyond. It’s clear that 2021 is going to have its own share of unsettling events that take us by surprise and turn our lives upside down. This clearly has an impact on us as teachers, but even more so on our students as they grow and make sense of the world around them. You can listen to this blog post as a podcast episode here or using the player below. Like many of you, I watched the riots at the nation’s Capitol unfold as Congress met to certify the 2020 presidential election. While I was horrified at the carnage that transpired and fearful for those whose lives were in danger, I can’t say that I was surprised at the unrest and upheaval - once again. The rhetoric, emotions, and misinformation leading up to confirming the electoral college votes certainly foreshadowed some kind of clash - but I wasn’t - and perhaps neither were you - expecting the magnitude of destruction and violence. Maybe I believed it could happen but hoped it wouldn’t get to that point. I live 90 minutes from D.C., and many people in my community either commute into the District for work or are originally from the metro area. So whether it’s breeching the U.S. Capitol, the Black Lives Matter protests, or any other major event in that vicinity, it feels likes it happening in my backyard. I’ve always considered it a privilege to live so close to the seat of our nation’s government and to have had the opportunity to see many of the historic buildings and monuments there that many wait a lifetime to see. The anticipated threats and violence expected on inauguration suddenly make it feel too close. That’s how I’m processing the events of January 6th as I continue to learn and see more of what went down. And I have to think, how is a child, who’s learning right from wrong, whose brain and body is developing, supposed to process not only this, but everything that has happened since last March? And honestly, for many children, the trauma goes deeper than COVID, Black Lives matter, or political unrest. It’s not knowing where the next meal is going to come from, or if there will be any one at home to take care of them, or even worse, hoping someone doesn’t come home to hurt them. It’s a recent topic in my Monday Message, an email I send out weekly with encouragement and strategies for the week ahead. You can join here. This next chapter of life in the classroom requires teachers to change our mindset, but it’s going to also mean we prioritize the needs of our students differently. Because we, with our rational adult brains, fully actualized, are affected by the insanity of this year, but we’re wired to respond and recover from this. A child physically and psychologically growing and processing this unrest in this world right now - that’s a different story. Their ability to make sense of the trauma - which is the impact of distressing, dangerous events - requires a greater level of concern and care. It makes our job as teachers that more important. Not because we need to go into recovery mode when we get back to a traditional classroom environment and need to catch up on all the standards and materials that have been missed. No. As I said in a blog for NNSTOY back in October, the data doesn’t matter and I stand by that. It’s because we’re going to need to reconnect as people. As a classroom community. And that will entail addressing a great deal of the trauma that has been witnessed over the past year through trauma sensitive classroom strategies. I’m going to share 5 ways - the 5 As if you will - to creating a trauma sensitive classroom environment starting today, even if the only contact you have with your class right now is thru distance learning. Along with this I’m going to share some neuroscience to back up why these over arching practices will help with addressing trauma in the classroom. 1. The first step is to ask your students if they have things they want to discuss regarding the unrest in the world right now, and letting them ask questions in return. Ignoring what happened won’t make it go away. Chances are that they have seen events on the news or on social media that may have scared them, angered, or confused them. Let them ask questions if needed. Set the norms for how questions and discussions can be held respectfully. We need to stay connected on a personal level to process how the events of the world affect us. We also need to acknowledge each others’s feelings and de-stigmatize being afraid as part of our trauma informed practice - and that’s especially true for boys, who are often made to feel like they shouldn’t cry or be scared. While I don’t condone teachers sharing political viewpoints with students, we can, in a matter of fact way, discuss what happened, why it happened, and the potential consequences of those actions. The depth you go into will vary greatly based on the age of your students. The important thing is that we seek to understand. Let them know it’s okay to be concerned about the future and their feelings are valid. Let’s talk about the brain for a moment. The amygdala region is about the size of your thumb, located between your ears. It processes emotions and detects fear. When you’ve been exposed to something traumatic, it becomes hyperactive, and it becomes harder to relax and concentrate. So if that’s true for an adult, can you imagine how difficult it is for a child to “turn off” fear mode? They can’t. It’s even harder to unsee what’s happened for them. So if they’re turning to you with questions, if they feel the need to seek answers for the why or how of what’s going on, it’s important to make room for that to address trauma in the classroom. Their brains need it to relax and to understand. 2. Another trauma sensitivity strategy is to assure students of their safety and well being. It’s your classroom (I know, it’s your students’ classroom too, even in a Teams meeting) but you are the teacher and you set the tone. Even online, your presence can give students’ peace of mind. Along with asking questions comes giving the reassurance to your students that they are safe and loved with you - and that you are a safe person they can communicate to in times of distress. That’s ultimately why it’s so important teachers to set boundaries and take care of themselves - our job is too important to not be fulfilled and healthy on our end so we can confidently and whole heartedly address the needs of our kids. You can also reassure them of the procedures and likelihood of events happening that may be causing anxiety, and what is in place to protect them. I don’t mean that we sugar coat what’s going on or say that everything is fine (because it certainly isn’t), but you can diplomatically remind them of the things that are in place to keep them safe and to keep the country running properly. Back to the brain for a moment - the hippocampus is connected to the amygdala, in the shape of a “C”. It stores our memories and helps us discern past and present events. When you’ve experienced trauma and the amygdala is over firing, the hippocampus has a harder time telling the difference between the past event and the present, even if the danger has passed and you’re now safe. People that have experienced severely traumatic events even have have a smaller, lower volume hippocampus, which is often indicative of post traumatic stress disorder. So with that being said, it’s why assuring kids of their safety as a trauma classroom strategy and their ability to rely on you and their classroom community is so important. Their memories are rooted in the emotions they experience, and it’s even harder to separate from the past from the present. 3. The next step is to anticipate - think ahead and prepare for classroom interactions related to the traumatic event. You know your class dynamic. If there are topics or subjects you will be teaching about that may serve as triggers for student anxiety or heightened emotions, you can prepare for them and be ready to address the issues that arise. For example, as a former fifth grade teacher, a unit on the three branches of government, a lesson on the bill of rights, causes and effects of the Civil War…I could anticipate, based on my students needs, beliefs, experiences, and what is going on in the world right now, what I would need to be prepared for so we could have an emotionally safe learning environment for all in the class. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t teach those things, you absolutely should. But you, especially by the second semester, have a better understanding of your students as individuals at this point - even through a computer screen - and what could lead to heightened emotions or cause conflict. Part of trauma sensitivity is thinking ahead and using what you know about your students to prepare for the conversations that may take place and the feelings that will arise. 4. Another way to create a trauma sensitive environment is to adjust your plans when the need arises to discuss events that have impacted your students. If there’s anything we have perfected this school year, its’ this one, because we have sure had to be flexible. There may be times when students need to talk about what’s happening in the world or their feelings, or a lesson leads to a conversation about a bigger topic or big feelings that they are having about the world. Let them have those conversations. The unplanned teachable moments may do more to address the impact of trauma more than any planned social emotional learning. Taking class time to focus on feelings or questions isn’t a waste of time or being too soft… Because - one more neuroscience moment for you - of the prefrontal cortex. This regulates emotions and reacts to the amygdala - if the amygdala is your thumb, then your four other fingers closing over it is the equivalent to the prefrontal cortex. This is where the executive function happens - decision making, paying attention, making behavior choices based on consequences, impulse control - I can almost see you nodding your heads as I’m sure these are all issues you have to address with your students in the classroom! (Me too.) But in the presence of trauma, it’s harder for the prefrontal cortex to make rational decisions. To think things through. To process the things that they “should know how to do at this age or grade.” Reconnecting and developing the “muscle” of the prefrontal cortex takes time. It’s not going to heal with benchmark assessments or computer programs promising to catch kids up on missed skills. It’s going to require adjustment of our expectations and and redirecting our focus from an academic, instructional viewpoint. 5. Which leads to the last strategy, which is to accept the impact of the traumatic events on our lives and students. This doesn’t mean accept wrongdoing or to normalize intolerance or violence. Quite the opposite. Many of us - myself included - greatly awaited the clock striking midnight on December 31, 2020, because we wanted to put the events of that year behind us - and rightly so. The truth is, the beginning and possibly a great portion of 2021 will be a continuation of the crisis that began last year. The pain and problems won’t go away overnight, nor should they. Some of the issues that have presented themselves boldly this year, such as intolerance and social injustice, have been neglected for ages, and rebuilding trust and stability in our country will take time. Healing is needed. It’s also important to note that, yes, our students may very well have learning gaps and not be where we would expect them to be emotionally or academically for years to come. They shouldn’t feel bad about that, or worried that they aren’t “good enough” or wrong for the things they don’t know and didn’t get a chance to learn. Projecting the mindset that we are in recovery mode to our students is important to their progress as well. It’s easy to feel defeated when setting goals and what you are looking forward to in the future doesn’t pan out, something I talked about in episode 5 with setting goals and boundaries for the new year. Accepting the brokenness and time it will take to repair the damage is a trauma sensitive classroom practice that creates an environment where students feel accepted and receptive to the work ahead. To recap, here are five ways to create a trauma sensitive classroom environment in these uncertain times: 1. Allow students to ask questions. 2. Assure them of their safety and your presence. 3. Anticipate reactions to content or sensitive topics. 4. Adjust your schedule as needed when the need to focus on processing feelings and current events arises. 5. Accept that recovery from all that has transpired this year will take time - and set the tone for your students that that’s okay. Together, we’re going to make it. Giving ourselves the room to grow and heal will get us there in time. Would you like a weekly dose of encouragement and teaching strategies? Subscribe to the Monday Message here. Are you a new teacher who could use some guidance on how to weather the rest of this unprecedented year? Get my free ebook The Thrive Guide: Beginning a Teaching Career in Uncertain Times below!

To listen to the podcast episode on this topic, click here. Every good plan starts with a strategy. In a previous post, I discussed the importance of strategizing to survive the disillusionment stage of teaching. But how exactly do you strategize, going into a new year that has more questions than answers? We’re going to look at how to set goals and boundaries so you can maintain them in the year ahead. We’ve all made New Year’s Resolutions to start out the year - and ended up not seeing them through. This is more than making resolutions though. It’s a way to think about how things are going - with teaching and life - and taking action to make improvements. To help you organize your thoughts, I’ve created a workbook that you can download here. I would recommend using it to help you plan your goals and to refer to it throughout the year. Let’s get started with the 5 steps of strategizing. Step 1: break the upcoming year into quarters. I’m not a fan of equating business practices with education, but there are some things we can use that do make sense. In business, sales and goals periods are often broken into quarters. Quarter 1 is January to the end of March, Quarter 2 is April to the end of June, Quarter 3 is July to the end of September, and Quarter 4 is October to the end of December. It’s important to think of the upcoming year in quarters - three months at a time - because we have learned how unpredictable things can be with the Covid-19 pandemic, and how long range plans can quickly get altered or go down the drain. We’re still in a state of flux with this crisis, and the winter months are going to have a lot of challenges with illness, school openings or closings, distance learning - basically everything we’ve been dealing with will be continued into the start of the year. Looking just three months ahead gets us through the winter and allows you to set manageable changes that you can see through. Having success with the goals and boundaries you set is important, and a three-month chunk of time as opposed to a 12 month or 6 month will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Step 2: S.E.T. yourself up for success. S.E.T. is an acronym you can use to test the goals you wish to set and the changes you want to make in the next quarter of the year. It's also a great tool to use when setting boundaries and deciding if you need to say "no." It's also a topic I talk about in my free ebook The Thrive Guide: Beginning a Teaching Career in Uncertain Times, which you can download here. To use S.E.T. when choosing goals, ask yourself these questions: S - Is the goal or change I want to make sustainable? Will you be able to continue to do this consistently? Making adjustments and having to start over when creating new habits is expected, but something you won't be able to maintain over time will leave you feeling defeated. You can start small and be flexible with something that you feel will be difficult to sustain at first (like being finished with work by a certain time each day) and work up to in another quarter the ideal. E - How does this goal or change use my energy? Ultimately, the changes we make through strategizing should make us feel less depleted. We’re not trying to fill up an already full plate. The goal is to simplify and streamline certain tasks so you have "juice" to pursue things that allow you to be happy and healthy. Some things like exercising and eating better are energy givers! Other energy givers may be spending time with you kids or making time for a hobby. Trying to outdo or overextend yourself even more with school work - that’s an energy drainer. T - Will this goal or change make good use of my time? There are two ways to look at this. Will this goal or change give you more time? If not, will it improve your well-being or that of your family? For example, doing yoga 20-30 minutes a day takes time out of my day, but it helps me focus and set intentions, so that is a goal that makes good use of my time! So that is S.E.T. - sustainable, energy, time. Step 3: Complete the quadrants for Home/Health/School/Self. If you have the workbook downloaded, you’ll see this is simply a chart divided into 4 sections, one each for home (which includes family), health, school, and self (which encompasses any personal goals you have). This is a chance to brain dump about the goals, boundaries, and changes you desire for any of those 4 aspects of life. And it’s important that you look at all 4, because all 4 matter and impact each other. You can write as many ideas as you want, but apply S.E.T. to each idea. Is this goal sustainable and does it make good use of your energy and time? If you can write S.E.T. out from it, circle it! Step 4: Choose your focus. Choose 1-2 goals from each quadrant (home, health, school, self) to focus on this quarter. Have no more than 5 you plan to focus on (you can always make changes or add goals each quarter). You’re aiming for one goal for each quadrant, with possibly 2 from the same one. Make sure these are goals you can S.E.T. and ones that will give you the most relief. Now, some of you may be thinking that your school goals are more urgent than anything right now and that is where you are under the most duress, or maybe it’s home, or any of the four seems to outweigh the other. I get it, but all four of these areas bleed into each other. We’ve got to get out of our "teacher tunnel" and view ourselves as complete human beings that need to focus on other areas of life beside school. Also, when you use the sentence stems in the workbook, you will see that by setting a goal in one area of your life, you often indirectly set an invisible goal in another. It’s opportunity cost, to use another business term in this episode - to give up one thing to get something else. If you don’t have the workbook in front of you, let me explain the sentence stems. This is where you refine your focus and choose your 5 goals by basically plugging them into fill in the blank statements. They read like this: Here’s an example of how this would sound filled out: Doing three hours of grading each night makes me feel exhausted and angry. My plan is to make Tuesday and Thursday my grading days so I am able to have the rest of my evenings to eat dinner with my family and workout. I may have to stop expecting all of my assignments to be graded for the next day. It will be worth it, because if nothing changes, my family life and health will continue to suffer. These statements not only help you define your new goals and boundaries, but let you see the benefits of working toward them and what will happen if you continue to let things spiral downward. Step 5: Review, Remind, Reflect. Carrying through our plans and goals is the hardest part. It's easy to plan things during a break, only to have our good intentions swept away when school resumes. You can use Review, Remind, Reflect throughout each quarter to keep you on track. It doesn’t involve any journaling, because that would adding one more thing to your plate. This is a way of thinking about your progress. Review Keep the completed sentence stems from Step 4 with your goals where you can see them each morning. You may choose to rewrite them in a planner or on a notecard where you can view them during the day. Remind Everyone messes up when making or breaking habits. It isn't always comfortable making changes, especially when you’re making changes other people may not like because they expect you to keep doing what you’ve always done. Remind yourself why you made this goal and how it adds value to your life. Reflect Throughout each quarter, reflect on your progress. It can be each morning, week, or whenever you have a moment to yourself. Make adjustments using S.E.T. if needed. If you are maintaining your goals, reflect on how your home, health, school, and self is improving. Be proud for choosing to take action and control over your life. It’s better than the alternative of feeling stressed and hopeless. Whatever you do, don’t give up. You’re not just strategizing how you’ll get through this year; you’re developing a new way of thinking about dealing with life’s challenges. To recap how to strategize: Step 1: Break the Upcoming Year into Quarters. Step 2: S.E.T. Yourself up for Success. Step 3: Complete the Quadrants for Home/Health/School/Self. Step 4: Choose your focus by using the sentence stems. Step 5: Review, Remind, Reflect. Whatever this new year and next semester of school brings, you deserve a life that brings you peace and purpose. Now you have the tools to create it. 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Writing a grant for your classroom or school can be a rewarding process, especially when your grant gets funded and you are able to put your ideas into action. Even if you’ve followed the directions, written strategically, and planned your budget, there are still a few more things that will help your grant idea become a reality for you and your students. I’m wrapping up my four-part series on How to Write Grants with three more tips on how to see your funded project through to completion. 10. Measure up. Even if it doesn’t ask for it, you should express in your grant application how you are going to monitor the success of the project you hope to have funded. How will you know if your students are successful and show progress as a result of this project? This shows your commitment to your project and its potential effectiveness. In the long run, observing for the effectiveness of your project will help you write future grants and utilize resources in your classroom. What specifically are the desired outcomes from this project? How will you know that your project was successful? State how you will know your goals have been met through your project. 11. Follow through. If you write a grant and get it funded, it’s your “baby.” You can’t pass the buck and expect someone else to complete it for you because you get busy or frustrated. When you are awarded funds, you are developing a business partnership. Commitment is key for being successful with any grant funded project. How you conduct yourself will influence if you or others receive funding in the future from this source. So order your materials, write thank you letters or emails (sending pictures of your grant in action is also a nice touch), complete the project, and send in the final report (if one is required). 12. If at first you don’t succeed…keep trying. Sometimes the path to having an idea funded is a long, winding road. It also takes time to develop your grant writing style and approach. Sometimes, it just comes down to too many people applying for too few funds. Take a look at what you wrote. There may be a better funding source for your grant, or maybe you need to revise how you presented your project. Learning how to write a grant proposal for education takes time, but it will be a skill you will use your entire teaching career. Everything gets better with time and practice – if you want it enough. Although there has never been a busier time in education, writing grants for your classroom - either to fund project for this year or next - is a way to look forward to better experiences in the future. Whether it’s requesting necessities for virtual instruction like headphones or a longstanding program to give students experiences they wouldn’t have otherwise, grants give you the power to create the classroom environment you envision for your students. Use the tips from the How to Write Grants series to help you get there.

You can listen to the podcast episode on disillusionment at this link. We've just finished the holiday season, a time of the year that often brings as much stress as it does joy. The holiday season also collides with the disillusionment phase of teaching. What is disillusionment? You may think at first this is the same as disappointment, which I talked about in this blog post. Disappointment is when things don’t go as planned. It happens all the time, to varying degrees. I share more about this in my free ebook The Thrive Guide: Beginning a Teaching Career in Uncertain Times, which you can download here. Disillusionment is a phase that we cycle through every year as teachers, especially in your first years of teaching. Before the school year begins, we’re in the anticipation phase, where we’re excited for a new year and a fresh start. As the school year begins and gets underway, we enter the survival stage, when reality starts to set in. The honeymoon with the kids ends and they start testing you, those new changes to the curriculum that didn’t seem to be that big a deal eat away at more time than expected, and the everyday classroom life of managing student behaviors and maintaining the teacher workload of grading, planning, and teaching are leaving you exhausted. I tend to tell myself each week in the survival stage it will get better, right? Enter the disillusionment phase, where the hopes of things becoming better regarding physical and emotional exhaustion just evaporate. Perhaps you’ve felt this year that the disillusionment phase started much earlier than it usually does with the amount of changes and work you’ve had to take on. It usually hits right around the holidays, when the newness of the school year is long gone, student attention is diverted to the excitement and festivities of the season, and nothing seems to be as you thought it would be back at the beginning of the school year. You’ve probably had your confidence and self-esteem dinged by at least one unhappy parent or administrator at this point, even though your intentions are good and you’re doing everything you can to hold your classroom and yourself together. Also, at this point you have probably had at least one illness that you’ve either taught through or had to take time off for, throwing off your routines and ability to be at your best. It’s a recipe for despair, especially with the added turmoil of a pandemic, along with fewer hours of daylight going into the winter months. I fear that teacher’s mental well being is at higher risk than ever before with all the added uncertainty and stress brought on this school year. Worst of all, the disillusionment phase is a valley (I’d say a pit but valley adds a bit more hope). The despair is real, and your feelings right now (and always) are valid. The good thing about a valley (and a pit for that matter) is that there is an incline out of it, although it’s a steep one. The amount of time you spend in the disillusionment phase depends on your ability to climb out to the other phases that await you: rejuvenation and reflection. And this year especially, we desperately need to get to those phases. What I’m about to share with you is the 5S strategy for surviving disillusionment - because you deserve peace and wellness this holiday season, regardless of the circumstances. We are always inundated with professional development on how to improve as teachers, but we don’t get much - if any - guidance on how to process and balance the emotional and physical toll teaching takes on you. The S5 strategy is teacher PD for a balanced life in the midst of chaos. #1 - Simplify. Think of it as running in “safe mode,” like a computer does when it’s been damaged or is having its memory drained. Ask yourself these questions: What has to happen each day? What are the most important things that need to get done? How can you do those things well - without any bells or whistles? Even if you are a bells and whistles person, in the disillusionment phase, put them away for a while. A lot of what we expect from ourselves…comes from ourselves. We set the bar really high, then get upset when we struggle to get over it! The important thing is that your students learn and feel loved. They are living through the same crisis, as are their families. Especially with the learning curve that has come with distance learning and teaching, now is the time to pare down to the minimum viable product to deliver instruction. That doesn’t mean be a crappy teacher. It’s the opposite: focus on teaching well, not embellishing and teaching well. We all need to get through the winter ahead so we can hopefully a spring with a brighter outlook. Concentrate on the things that you are required to do each day. Remember you’re trying to climb out of a valley. You can get back to being "extra" when you’re on the other side of this. #2 - Stop. Stop answering emails at all hours. Stop grading into the night. Stop scrolling through Instagram or Pinterest and mentally beating yourself up for not having themed, color coordinated templates for your virtual classroom - it’s making you SICK (read this blog post for evaluating how your social media feed affects you). You have not caused the circumstances we find ourselves in this year, but chances are there are some behaviors and habits that are sucking the life right out of you. Drop them like a hot potato, quit them cold turkey. Stop the toxic practices that we’ve come to normalize in teaching. If you haven’t read this post about setting boundaries, “stop” and go read or listen to it, because it’s all about why it’s important to create divisions between school and home, even if you’re working from home this year. Notice I didn’t say to stop doing those things period, like answering emails or grading papers, those things have to get done, but you - and only you can do this - need to put end times on them so you can recoil and relax. And don’t let the fear of the work not getting done stop you from doing this. It gets done - often when you have time boundaries, you tend to work more efficiently and get more accomplished in a shorter amount of time. But more importantly, the work getting finished isn’t nearly as important as you not being consumed with work 24-7. It’s a self control thing that starts with you. #3 - Soften your self talk. We are often our own worst critics and say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend experiencing the same or similar circumstances. Personally, I get really upset with myself if I don’t figure something new out on the first try - often before I read the directions. I just have this odd expectation of myself that I should know how to do it by looking at it! But I would never get upset with someone else if they didn’t do something perfect the first time they tried something new. I certainly wouldn’t be upset with a student when they're learning something for the first time. I’m sure there have been times this year - especially with technology - that things haven’t worked out how they “should” have for you, and you’ve probably gotten mad at yourself. The thing is, was anyone else mad at you for messing up? And…if they were, is that how you would have treated someone in the same situation? It doesn’t make right if they did. How we speak to ourselves truly matters, because indirectly whether you realize it or not we’re teaching our students and our own children how to speak about themselves and react when they make mistakes through our own self talk. Like I said, this is hard to do, but if you want to get out of disillusionment, you have to extend yourself grace. Self talk influences your mood and your self-esteem. You’re teaching through a global crisis, and learning how to teach with technology on the fly. I bet if you make a list of all the things you have had to learn how to do since this started you’d really see that you’ve accomplished a lot. So please extend yourself the kindness you’d expect from your students to treat others with when they are less than perfect. #4 - Speak up. Other teachers are feeling the same way you are - the fatigue, the stress, questioning if they can do this for the entire year. You and they are not alone - but it’s easy to feel that way, especially if you’re teaching remotely and aren’t with your colleagues. You start to feel like the pilot in the movie Cast Away - stranded on an island with few resources to survive. We all need to have our feelings and fears validated. Even though administrators have their own set of stresses in this season, they still need to know what you’re experiencing in the classroom. No one knows what it’s like to be you but you, but they won’t know what you’re feeling unless you express it. I’m not saying being disrespectful, and I’m not saying blast the current situation on social media. But you do need to tell others about what you are going through, because the less alone you feel, the more light you start to see at the end of the tunnel. Also, speak up about solutions you see to your current teaching situation as well. There’s no way to tell if your ideas will be considered or acted upon, but often we get so into our “teacher tunnel” vision we forget we have good, professional opinions that need to be considered. The benefit of being in the valley of disillusionment is having truly been in the trenches, and your insight is valuable. Don’t feel like anyone’s listening? Keep speaking up. #5 Strategize. We have to get through this year. Most of us, even if the situation we find ourselves feels devastatingly hard, can’t just quit our jobs. We’ve got to find a way to make this situation work without destroying our health or our dignity. Otherwise, we’ll spend the rest of this year in the disillusionment phase. The second half of this school year can play out better than the first. That’s the benefit of going through the disillusionment phase in some capacity each year; you learn what’s working, what’s not, and how to make it sustainable. Pay attention to how simplifying your work and stopping certain behaviors improves your life. If the changes you make and the things you eliminate make teaching easier and give you more time to take care of yourself and be present for your family, carry those on out of the disillusionment phase and into your regular practice. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, and it’s that martyr mentality creeping in: that a “good” teacher should be giving his or her all, burning the wick to light everyone else’s candle, in it for the outcome not the income. I know, I’ve taught 18 years, I’ve heard them all - and at some point, I believed them all as well. And it just about killed me. What I’ve learned is that you not only have chosen a profession of great value, but that you are a person of great value as well. And you can’t give the world your full value and fulfill your purpose as a complete human being if you're burnt out from holding onto to standards based on outdated teacher cliches. So yes, you have an obligation to complete your responsibilities as a teacher, but you have an obligation to yourself to make a life you want to wake up to every morning as well. And to do that, you must strategize how you will survive the times in the pit so when you climb out of the valley of disillusionment, you can thrive. To review, the disillusionment phase of teaching is when reality sets in and the stress, fatigue, and expectations threaten to throw you off course. To rise out of disillusionment, use the 5S Strategy. Simplify your tasks and teaching, Stop the behaviors that keep you from setting boundaries, Soften your self talk, Speak up about your feelings and solutions, and Strategize for what you need to do in order make the second half of the school year better. Use this experience being at “rock bottom” in a year that has turned everything upside down to develop routines and practices that work for you - so you can be the teacher and person you want to be.